‘By’t side of a brig stands over a brook.’
From Dublin, ahoi! full of wonder and gazing,
I’m writing to you, brother Pat;
I’ve heard of a story so strange and amazing,
I’ll talk about nothing but that:
I’ve heard of that queer little peaceable pimple,5
That makes in the world such a row!
You might think all the doctors are crazy, or simple,
For they’re all fell in love with the cow.
John Bull, though he holds us so tight in his tether,
Determined to give us relief—10
So he sends us this pimple, and Bedford together,
—A glorious fellow for beef!—
And sure, of that Fiend who makes holes in our faces,
He swears he can rid us all now;
So the sweet little milk-maids, are sure of their graces,15
And the farmer’s in love with the cow.
In lectures galvanic, the world in a panic,
Beheld an ox-cheek twist about;
With frogs set a crawling, and rabbits asqualling,
And sheep’s heads that turn’d up the snout.20
But what is all that, by my soul, brother Pat,
To the news that I’m telling you now?
New lectures are teaching, and parsons are preaching,
Ay, the parson’s in love with the cow.
I’ll tell you, moreover, how good neighbour Bull,25
The scheme has so charmingly plann’d;
That by hook or by crook, he has got in his book,
The biggest great names in the land.
Yet some write and rave, that the pimple won’t save,
And they prove it, I can’t tell you how:30
But while time lays them flat, let’s remember, dear Pat,
That the world is in love with the cow.
Then what will we do, brother Pat, with the man
Who found out this glorious rig?
Sure, we’ll gather him shamrocks as fast as we can,35
And stick full every curl in his wig.
And may Unanimity, Concord, and Joy,
To the end of the world, from just now,
Distinguish Humanity’s heroes, my boy!
—Long life to John Bull and his cow!40