2757. Robert Southey to Grosvenor Charles Bedford, [17 April 1816]⁠* 

Wednesday

My dear Bedford

There is an end of hope & of fear, – but not of suffering. His sufferings however are over, & thank God his passage was perfectly easy. [1]  He fell asleep, – & is now in a better state of existence, – for which his nature was more fitted than for this –. You more than most men can tell what I have lost, – & yet you are far from knowing how large a part of my hopes & happiness will be laid in the grave with Herbert. For years it has been my daily prayer that I might be spared this affliction.

I am much reduced in body by this long & sore suffering, but I am perfectly resigned, & do not give way to grief.

In his desk there are the few letters which I had written to him, – in the joy of my heart. I will fold up these & send them to you, – that they may be preserved when I am gone – in memory of him & of me. Should you survive me, you will publish such parts of my correspondence as are proper, for the benefit of my family. [2]  My dear Grosvenor, I wish you would make the selection while you can do it without sorrow, – while it is uncertain which of us shall be left to regret the other. You are the fit person to do this, – & it will be well to burn <in time> what is to be suppressed. in time.

The body has been opened – there was a great accumulation of matter at the heart. I will not venture to say x relate the boys conduct during his whole illness. I dare not trust myself to attempt this. But nothing could be more calm, – more patient, – more collected, more dutiful – more admirable

Oh that I may be able to leave this country. The wound will never close while I remain in it. You would wonder to see me, – how composed I am. Thank God I can control myself for the sake of others, – but I am it is a life-long grief, – & do what I can to lighten it, the burthen will be as heavy as I can bear.

RS.

I wish you would tell Knox [3]  what has happened. He was very kind to Herbert, & deserves that I should write to him