Week 4

THOUGHTS in PRISON.
WEEK THE FOURTH.
The Trial.
Dread'st thou an earthly bar? Thou, who so oft
|
1 |
In contemplation serious hast employ'd
|
2 |
Thy dearest meditations on a Bar
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3 |
Tremendously decisive! who so oft
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4 |
That Bar's important terrors hast display'd
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5 |
To crowds attentive; with the solemn theme
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6 |
Rapt into thought profound?--And beats thy heart
|
7 |
With throbs tumultuous;--fail thy trembling knees,
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8 |
Now that in Judgment thou must stand before
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Weak mortals, like thyself! and soon, like thee,
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10 |
Shivering with guilt and apprehensions dire,
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11 |
To answer in dread Judgment 'fore their God?
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12 |
What gives that Judgment terror? Guilt, pale Guilt;
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13 |
Conscience accusing stern; the fiery Law,
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14 |
The terrible hand-writing on the wall!
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15 |
But vanish these,--that mighty Day's-Man found,
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16 |
Who, smiling on Confession's genuine tear,
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17 |
The meek repentant aspect, and the hand
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18 |
With ready, perfect retribution fraught,
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19 |
Urges complete his ransom, and sets free
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20 |
Th' immortal prisoner.--But, ah me! on earth
|
21 |
Such golden mercy reigns not: here is found
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22 |
No potent Day's-Man; here no ransom full,
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23 |
No clement Mediator. Here stern Law,
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24 |
With visage all-unbending, eyes alone
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25 |
The rigorous Act. Confession here is Guilt,
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26 |
And Restitution perfect, perfect loss!
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27 |
Ah me the while, here men the Judges are;
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28 |
And there, th' Omnificent, Mercy's source and stream!
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29 |
Triumphant consolation! Firm in Faith,
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30 |
And justify'd by Him whose precious blood
|
31 |
For Man flow'd liberal, the Soul, secure
|
32 |
Of future acceptation at that Bar
|
33 |
Of trial most momentous, soars above
|
34 |
The World's severest trials, [1] and can view
|
35 |
Serene the horrors of an earthly Bar,
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36 |
Tho' far than death more horrid. Yes, kind Death,
|
37 |
How preferable far thy sight to me!
|
38 |
Oh that, without this tedious, dread detail
|
39 |
Of awful circumstance,--this long, sad pomp
|
40 |
Of ministering wretchedness, thy friendly shaft
|
41 |
Had instant reach'd, and pierc'd my tortur'd Heart:
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42 |
How had I blest the stroke, and been at peace!
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43 |
But, thro' a dreary avenue of woe,
|
44 |
A lengthen'd vault of black distress and shame,
|
45 |
With mournful melancholy sable hung,
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46 |
Must I be led, [2] --or ere I can receive
|
47 |
Thine icy comforts to my chill'd Life's Blood!
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48 |
Welcome, thrice welcome were they! But the call
|
49 |
Of Heaven's dread Arbiter we wait: His Will
|
50 |
Is rectitude consummate. 'Tis the Will
|
51 |
Parental of high Wisdom and pure Love!
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52 |
Then to that Will submissive bend, my Soul:
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53 |
And, while meek Resignation to the Rod
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54 |
Corrective of his Justice and his Love
|
55 |
Obedient bows,--Oh for impartial search!
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56 |
Oh for a Trial strict, to trace the Cause,
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57 |
The fatal Cause, whence sprung the ill deplor'd!
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58 |
And why--sad spectacle of Woe--we stand
|
59 |
Thus, Sin and Sorrow-sunk, at this Dread Bar!
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60 |
Return, blest Hours! ye peaceful Days, return!
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61 |
When thro' each office of celestial Love
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62 |
Ennobling Piety my glad Feet led
|
63 |
Continual, and my Head each Night to rest
|
64 |
Lull'd on the downy pillow of Content!
|
65 |
Dear were thy shades, O Ham! and dear the Hours
|
66 |
In manly musing 'midst' thy Forests pass'd,
|
67 |
And antique Woods of sober Solitude,
|
68 |
Oh Epping! witness to my lonely walks
|
69 |
By Heaven-directed Contemplation led!
|
70 |
Ye Days of Duty, tranquil Nights, return!
|
71 |
How ill exchang'd for those, which busier scenes
|
72 |
To the World's Follies dedicate, engross'd,
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73 |
In specious trifling; all important deem'd,
|
74 |
While gilt, O Chesterfield! with seeming gold
|
75 |
Of prime refinement, thro' thy fostering smile,
|
76 |
And patronage auspicious!
|
77 |
Sought by Thee,
|
78 |
And singled out, unpatroniz'd, unknown;
|
79 |
By Thee, whose taste consummate was applause,
|
80 |
Whose approbation merit; forth I came,
|
81 |
And with me to the task, delighted, brought
|
82 |
The upright purpose, the intention firm
|
83 |
To fill the charge, to justify the choice,
|
84 |
Perchance too flattering to my Heart; a Heart
|
85 |
Frank, inexpert, unhackney'd in the World,
|
86 |
And yet estrang'd to guile! But ye, more skill'd
|
87 |
In that World's artful style, Judges severe;
|
88 |
Say, in the zenith of bright Stanhope's Sun
|
89 |
(Though set that Sun, alas! in misty clouds);
|
90 |
Say 'midst his lustre, whom would not that choice
|
91 |
Have flatter'd?--And still more, when urg'd, approv'd,
|
92 |
And bless'd by Thee, St. David's! Honour'd Friend;
|
93 |
Alike in Wisdom's and in Learning's School
|
94 |
Advanc'd and sage!---Short pause, my Muse, and sad
|
95 |
Allow, while leaning on Affection's arm
|
96 |
Deep-sighing Gratitude, with Tears of Truth,
|
97 |
Bedews the Urn, the happy Urn, where rest
|
98 |
Mingled thy Ashes, oh my Friend! and Her's
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99 |
Whose Life bound up with thine in amity
|
100 |
Indissolubly firm, felt thy last pang
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101 |
Disrupting as her own; gently sigh'd forth
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102 |
The precious Boon: while sprung her faithful Soul,
|
103 |
Indignant without Thee to rest below,
|
104 |
On Wings of Love, to meet Thee in the Skies!
|
105 |
Blest pair! and envied! Envied and embalm'd
|
106 |
In our recording memory, my Wife,
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107 |
My Friend, my lov'd Maria! Be our lot
|
108 |
Like theirs!--But soft,--ah my foreboding thoughts!
|
109 |
Repress the gushing Tear;--return, my Song.
|
110 |
Plac'd thus, and shelter'd underneath a Tree,
|
111 |
Which seem'd like that in Visions of the Night
|
112 |
To Babylonia's haughty Prince pourtray'd,
|
113 |
Whose height reach'd Heaven, and whose verdant boughs
|
114 |
Extended wide their succour and their shade;
|
115 |
How did I trust, too confident! How dream
|
116 |
That Fortune's smiles were mine! and how deceiv'd,
|
117 |
By gradual declension yield my trust,
|
118 |
My humble happy trust on Thee, my God!
|
119 |
How ill exchang'd for confidence in Man,
|
120 |
In Chesterfields, in Princes!--Wider scenes,
|
121 |
Alps still on Alps were open'd to my view;
|
122 |
And, as the circle in the Flood enlarg'd,
|
123 |
Enlarg'd expences call. Fed to the full
|
124 |
With Flattery's light food, [3] and the puff'd wind
|
125 |
Of promises delusive----"Onward still!
|
126 |
"Press onward!" cried the World's alluring voice;
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127 |
"The time of retribution is at hand:
|
128 |
"See the ripe Vintage waits thee!" Fool, and blind,
|
129 |
Still credulous I heard, and still pursued
|
130 |
The airy meteor glittering, thro' the mire,
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131 |
Thro' brake and bog, till more and more ingulph'd
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132 |
In the deceitful quag, floundering I lay.
|
133 |
Nor heard was then the World's alluring voice,
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134 |
Or promises delusive: Then not seen
|
135 |
The Tree umbrageous, with its ample shade:
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136 |
For me, alas, that Tree had shade no more!
|
137 |
But, struggling in the gulph, my languid Eye
|
138 |
Saw only round the barren rushy Moor,
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139 |
The flat, wide, dreary Desert:--Till a Hope,
|
140 |
Dress'd by the Tempter in an Angel's form,
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141 |
Presenting its fair hand,--imagin'd fair,
|
142 |
Though foul as murkiest Hell,--to drag me forth,
|
143 |
Down to the centre plung'd me, dark and dire
|
144 |
Of howling Ruin;--bottomless Abyss
|
145 |
Of desolating Shame, and nameless Woe!
|
146 |
But, witness Heaven and Earth, 'midst this brief stage,
|
147 |
This blasting period of my chequer'd Life,
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148 |
Tho' by the World's gay vanities allur'd,
|
149 |
I danc'd, too oft, alas! with the wild rout
|
150 |
Of thoughtless Fellow-Mortals, to the sound
|
151 |
Of Folly's tinkling Bells; tho' oft, too oft,
|
152 |
Those pastimes shar'd enervating, which ill
|
153 |
--Howe'er by some judg'd innocent,--become
|
154 |
Religion's sober character and garb:
|
155 |
Tho' oft, too oft, by weak compliance led,
|
156 |
External seemings, and the ruinous bait
|
157 |
Of smooth politeness, what my heart condemn'd
|
158 |
Unwise it practis'd;--never without pang!
|
159 |
Tho' too much influenc'd by the pleasing force
|
160 |
Of native generosity, uncurb'd
|
161 |
And unchastis'd (as Reason, Duty taught),
|
162 |
Prudent Economy, in thy sober School
|
163 |
Of parsimonious Lecture; useful lore,
|
164 |
And of prime moment to our worldly weal;
|
165 |
--Yet, witness Heaven and Earth, amidst this Dream,
|
166 |
This transient Vision, ne'er so slept my Soul,
|
167 |
Or sacrific'd my Hands at Folly's Shrine,
|
168 |
As to forget Religion's publick Toil,
|
169 |
Study's improvement, or the pleading cause
|
170 |
Of suffering Humanity!--Gracious God,
|
171 |
How wonderful a compound, mixture strange,
|
172 |
Incongruous, inconsistent, is frail Man!
|
173 |
Yes, my lov'd Charlotte, whose Top-stone with joy
|
174 |
My careful Hands brought forth, what time expell'd
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175 |
From Ham's lost Paradise, and driv'n to seek
|
176 |
Another place of Rest! Yes, beauteous Fane!
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177 |
To bright Religion dedicate, Thou well
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178 |
My happy public Labours canst attest,
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179 |
Unwearied and successful in the Cause,
|
180 |
The glorious, honour'd Cause of Him, whose Love
|
181 |
Bled for the human Race! Thou canst attest
|
182 |
The Sabbath-days delightful, when the throng
|
183 |
Crowded thy hallow'd Walls with eager joy,
|
184 |
To hear Truth evangelical; the sound
|
185 |
Of Gospel Comfort! When attentive sate,
|
186 |
Or at the Holy Altar humbly knelt,
|
187 |
Persuasive, pleasing Patterns--Athol's Duke,
|
188 |
The polish'd Hervey, Kingston the humane,
|
189 |
Aylesbury and Marchmont, Romney all-rever'd;
|
190 |
With Numbers more--by splendid Titles less
|
191 |
Than Piety distinguish'd and pure Zeal.
|
192 |
Nor, 'midst this public Duty's blest-discharge,
|
193 |
Pass'd idle, unimproving, unemploy'd,
|
194 |
My other Days;--as if the Sabbath's task
|
195 |
Fulfill'd, the business of the Week was done,
|
196 |
Or self-allow'd. Witness, thrice holy Book!
|
197 |
Pure transcript of the Eternal's Will to Man:
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198 |
Witness with what assiduous care I turn'd
|
199 |
Daily the hallow'd page; with what deep search
|
200 |
Explor'd thy sacred meaning; thro' the round
|
201 |
Of learn'd Expositors and grave trod slow,
|
202 |
And painfully deliberating; the while
|
203 |
My labours unremitting to the World
|
204 |
Convey'd instruction large;--and shall convey,
|
205 |
When moulders in the Grave the feeble Hand,
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206 |
The Head, the Heart, that gave those Labours [4] Birth.
|
207 |
Oh happy Toil! oh Labours well employ'd!
|
208 |
Oh sweet remembrance to my sickening Soul!
|
209 |
Blest Volumes! Nor, tho' levell'd in the Dust
|
210 |
Of Self-annihilation, shall my Soul
|
211 |
Cease to rejoice, or thy preventive grace
|
212 |
Adoring laud, Fountain of every good!
|
213 |
For that no letter'd poison ever stain'd
|
214 |
My page, how weak soe'er; for that my pen,
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215 |
However humble, ne'er has trac'd a line
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216 |
Of tendency immoral, whose black Guilt
|
217 |
It well might wish to blot with Tears of Blood!
|
218 |
Dear to the Christian shall my little works,
|
219 |
--Effusions of a Heart sincere, devote
|
220 |
To God and Duty,--happily survive
|
221 |
Their wretched Master; and thro' lengthen'd Years
|
222 |
To Souls opprest Comfort's sweet balm impart;
|
223 |
And teach the pensive Mourner how to die. [5]
|
224 |
Thou too, blest Charity! whose golden Key
|
225 |
So liberal unlocks the Prison's Gate
|
226 |
At the poor Debtor's call; oh, witness Thou,
|
227 |
To cruel taxers of my Time and Thought,
|
228 |
All was not lost, all were not misemploy'd,
|
229 |
Nor all Humanity's fair rights forgot:
|
230 |
Since thou, spontaneous effort of the last,
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231 |
My pity's child, and by the first matur'd,
|
232 |
Amidst this flattering, fatal Era rose;
|
233 |
Rose into being, to perfection rose,
|
234 |
Beneath my humble fostering! And, at length
|
235 |
Grown into publick favour, thou shalt live;
|
236 |
And endless good diffuse, when sleeps in dust
|
237 |
Thy hapless Founder; now, by direst fate,
|
238 |
Locked in a Prison, whence thy bounty sets,
|
239 |
And shall,--oh Comfort!--long set thousands free.
|
240 |
Happy, thrice happy, had my active zeal,--
|
241 |
Already deemed too active 'chance, by some,
|
242 |
Whose frozen Hearts, in icy fetters bound
|
243 |
Of sordid selfishness, ne'er felt the warmth,
|
244 |
The genial warmth of pure Benevolence,
|
245 |
Love's ardent flame aspiring;--had that Flame
|
246 |
Kindled my glowing zeal into effect,
|
247 |
And to thy Counterpart [6] existence giv'n,
|
248 |
Lov'd Institution; with its guardian aid
|
249 |
Protecting from the Prison's ruinous doors,
|
250 |
Those whom thy kindly mercy rescues thence!
|
251 |
Or, had that zeal, on firm foundation fix'd
|
252 |
Like thine, my favourite Magdalen,--the Plan,
|
253 |
Preservative of tender Female Fame, [7]
|
254 |
Fair Innocence and Virtue, from those ills
|
255 |
Destructive, complicate, which only find
|
256 |
Relief beneath thy hospitable roof;
|
257 |
How had I died exulting!--But, oh raise,
|
258 |
Inspire some godlike Spirit, some great Soul,
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259 |
Father of Mercies! of all Love, all Good
|
260 |
Author and Finisher;--these, and every work
|
261 |
Beneficent, with Courage to pursue,
|
262 |
With Wisdom to complete! Oh crown his zeal;
|
263 |
While sorrowing Human Nature, by his Hand
|
264 |
Cherish'd and sooth'd, to latest times shall tell,
|
265 |
And bless with tears of gratitude his Name!
|
266 |
Mine is a different fate!--confess'd, just Judge,
|
267 |
The meed of human mixture in my works
|
268 |
Imperfect, frail; and needing, even the best,
|
269 |
Thy pardon, and the cleansing of thy blood!
|
270 |
Else, whence the frequent retributions base,
|
271 |
Calumnious and ungrateful, for the deeds
|
272 |
Of private Pity? Whence, for public Acts,
|
273 |
The stab opprobrious, and the slanders vile?
|
274 |
Or whence, at this dread moment,--from the sight
|
275 |
Shrowd me in tenfold darkness!--Mercy, Heaven!
|
276 |
And is it He--th' ingenuous Youth, so oft
|
277 |
Of all my being, fortune, comfort deem'd
|
278 |
The generous, ample source?--And is it He,
|
279 |
In whom, thro' drear Misfortune's darkest night,
|
280 |
I saw Hope's day-star rising?--Angel of Peace,
|
281 |
Amidst his future hours, my life's sad loss
|
282 |
Let not accusing Conscience to his charge
|
283 |
Impute, distracting!--to my crimson'd guilt
|
284 |
Oh let him lay it, as the forfeit due,
|
285 |
And justly paid!--Would Heaven that it were paid!
|
286 |
Oh, that with Rome's first Caesar, in my robe
|
287 |
From sight so killing, mantled up mine eyes,
|
288 |
I might receive the welcome stab; sigh forth,
|
289 |
"My Philip, my lov'd Stanhope,--Is it Thou!
|
290 |
"--Then let me die!"-----
|
291 |
Yet, tho' thus wounded at this Bar I stand
|
292 |
In pangs unutterable, witness Heaven,
|
293 |
With deep commiseration do I view
|
294 |
Their sedulous anxiety to prove
|
295 |
A guilt, my heart--too wounded to deny,
|
296 |
Wounded by that Guilt's sense, its bitterest part,--
|
297 |
Instant avow'd. What need then all this toil?
|
298 |
The deed is done! Wound not the fall'n Hart,--
|
299 |
'Tis cruel--that lies bleeding at your feet!
|
300 |
"I own the whole; I urge no legal plea!
|
301 |
"On dire Necessity's imperious call,
|
302 |
"(Sons of the Robe, of Commerce, Sons of Men,
|
303 |
"That call imperious have you never heard?)
|
304 |
"On full Intention to repay the whole.
|
305 |
"And on that full Intention's perfect work,
|
306 |
"Free Restoration and complete: on wrong
|
307 |
"Or injury to none design'd or wrought,
|
308 |
"I rest my claim;--I found my sole defence."
|
309 |
"Groundless,--'tis thunder'd in my ears--and weak!
|
310 |
"For, in the rigid Courts of human Law,
|
311 |
"No Restitution wipes away th' offence,
|
312 |
"Nor does Intention justify." So spoke
|
313 |
(And who shall argue?) Judgment's awful voice!
|
314 |
Haste then, ye weeping Jurymen, and pass
|
315 |
Th' awarded sentence! To the World, to Fame,
|
316 |
To Honour, Fortune, Peace, and Stanhope lost,
|
317 |
What have I more to lose? or can I think
|
318 |
Death were an Evil to a Wretch like me!
|
319 |
Yet, oh ye sons of Justice!--ere we quit
|
320 |
This awful Court, Expostulation's voice
|
321 |
One moment hear impartial. Give awhile
|
322 |
Your honest hearts to Nature's touches true,
|
323 |
Her fine resentments faithful! Draw aside
|
324 |
That veil from Reason's clear reflecting view,
|
325 |
Which Practice long, and Rectitude suppos'd
|
326 |
Of Laws establish'd, hath obstructive hung!
|
327 |
But, pleads or time, or long prescription aught
|
328 |
In favour or abatement of the wrong
|
329 |
By Folly wrought, or Error? Hoary grown,
|
330 |
And sanctify'd by Custom's habit grey,
|
331 |
Absurdity stalks forth, still more absurd,
|
332 |
And double shame reflects upon an age
|
333 |
Wise and enlighten'd. Should not equal laws
|
334 |
Their punishments proportionate to crimes; [8]
|
335 |
Nor, all Draconick, ev'n to blood pursue
|
336 |
Vindictive, where the venial poor offence
|
337 |
Cries loud for mercy? Death's the last demand
|
338 |
Law can exact: The penalty extreme
|
339 |
Of human crime! And shall the petty thief
|
340 |
Succumb beneath its terrors, when no more
|
341 |
Pays the bold murderer, crimson'd o'er with guilt?
|
342 |
Few are the crimes against or God or Man,
|
343 |
--Consult th' Eternal Code of Right or Wrong,--
|
344 |
Which e'er can justify this last extreme, [9]
|
345 |
This wanton sporting with the human life,
|
346 |
This trade in blood! Ye Sages, then, review,
|
347 |
Speedy and diligent, the Penal Code,
|
348 |
Humanity's disgrace; our Nation's first
|
349 |
And just reproach, amidst its vaunted boasts,
|
350 |
Of Equity and Mercy!--Shiver not
|
351 |
Full oft your inmost souls, when from the Bench
|
352 |
Ye deal out death tremendous; and proclaim
|
353 |
Th' irrevocable sentence on a wretch
|
354 |
Pluck'd early from the paths of social life,
|
355 |
And, immature, to the low grave consign'd
|
356 |
For misdemeanors trivial? Runs not back,
|
357 |
Affrighted, to its fountain your chill'd blood,
|
358 |
When, deck'd in all the horrid pomp of death,
|
359 |
And Gothic rage surpassing, to the flames
|
360 |
The weaker sex,--incredible--you doom;
|
361 |
Denouncing punishments the more severe,
|
362 |
As less of strength is found to bear their force?
|
363 |
Shame on the savage practice! Oh stand forth
|
364 |
In the great cause,--Compassion's, Equity's,
|
365 |
Your Nation's, Truth's, Religion's, Honour's Cause,
|
366 |
--Stand forth, reflecting Eden! [10] Well thou'st toil'd
|
367 |
Already in the honourable field:
|
368 |
Might thy young labours animate! The hour
|
369 |
Auspicious is arriv'd. Sages esteem'd,
|
370 |
And venerably learn'd, as in the School
|
371 |
Of legal Science, so in that of Worth
|
372 |
And Sentiment exalted, fill the Bench:
|
373 |
And lo! the Imperial Muscovite, intent
|
374 |
On Public-weal, a bright example shines
|
375 |
Of civilizing Justice. Sages, rise:
|
376 |
The Cause, the animating Pattern calls!
|
377 |
Oh, I adjure you, with my parting breath,
|
378 |
By all your hopes of Mercy and of Peace,
|
379 |
By all the Blood henceforth unjustly spilt,
|
380 |
Or wantonly! by all the Sorrows deep,
|
381 |
And scalding Tears shed for that blood so spilt!
|
382 |
In God's tremendous Name, lo, I adjure,
|
383 |
Without procrastination to the task
|
384 |
Important that you haste! With equal hand
|
385 |
In scales of temperate Justice balance well
|
386 |
The claims of pleading Mercy! Unto crimes
|
387 |
Inflictions just and adequate assign;
|
388 |
On Reformation or Example sole,
|
389 |
And all impartial, constantly intent!
|
390 |
Banish the Rage for Blood! for Tortures fell,
|
391 |
Savage, reproachful: Study to restore
|
392 |
Its young, its useful members to the State,
|
393 |
Well disciplin'd, corrected, moraliz'd;
|
394 |
Preserv'd at once from Shame, from Death, from Hell,
|
395 |
Men, Rationals, Immortals,--Sons of God.
|
396 |
Oh prosperous be your labours, crown'd your zeal!
|
397 |
So shall the annals of our Sovereign's Reign
|
398 |
Distinguish'd by your Virtue,--noble fruit
|
399 |
Of that high independence He bestow'd [11]
|
400 |
So freely from the Treasury of his Love
|
401 |
To genuine Justice--down to future Times
|
402 |
Transmitting the rich blessing, shine renowned
|
403 |
With truest glory; not by Hers surpass'd,
|
404 |
Th' immortal Legislator of the North!
|
405 |
Ah me, unhappy! to that Sovereign's Ear
|
406 |
Resolv'd to bring those Truths, which labouring long,
|
407 |
Have lain, and tost upon my anxious thoughts: [12]
|
408 |
Thence too am I excluded! Fatal Stroke,
|
409 |
And wounding to my peace! Rigour extreme
|
410 |
Of angry vengeance! "Nay, it recks not now,"
|
411 |
Oft, 'midst the tempest of my grief, I cried,
|
412 |
"It recks not now what falls me! From the House
|
413 |
"Of Him I honour'd, shut! Him, whose lov'd Sire
|
414 |
"My Muse in strains elegiac weeping sung, [13]
|
415 |
"Mixing her tribute with a Nation's Tears!
|
416 |
"Him to whose high-born Race,--of Liberty
|
417 |
"Firm Friends and Fautors--from my earliest Youth,
|
418 |
"My Heart, devoted, willing homage paid,
|
419 |
"And sacred reverence: So paternal Love
|
420 |
"And so my College taught, delightful Clare!"
|
421 |
Dear ever to my Memory for Hours
|
422 |
In innocence and peaceful study past;
|
423 |
Nor less for Thee, my Friend, my Lancaster!
|
424 |
Blest Youth, in early Hour from this Life's woes
|
425 |
In richest Mercy borne! Had I but died,
|
426 |
Oh had I died for Thee, how had I shunn'd
|
427 |
This harsh severity,--exclusion sad
|
428 |
From my lov'd Royal Master! how escap'd
|
429 |
Its ills attendant!--Reputation dies,
|
430 |
The darling of my Soul, beneath the stroke!
|
431 |
Wild, wanton curses tear my mangled Fame!
|
432 |
My sphere of usefulness contracted shrinks;
|
433 |
And Infamy herself with "ghastly smiles"
|
434 |
My ruin ridicules! Turn, turn, my Brain!
|
435 |
Distracted! madden'd, turn! of Reason more,
|
436 |
Religion, Duty, Eminence, dream not:
|
437 |
The door of Mercy's clos'd. Thee--oft from Thee
|
438 |
Mercy, sweet Heaven! have I sought and found;
|
439 |
From Fellow-Mortals seldom could I find,
|
440 |
How humbled e'er, or penitent, for faults;
|
441 |
--And who of erring Mortals faultless breathes?
|
442 |
Mercy; that gift of Thine, which most adorns
|
443 |
The Judge's Vestment, and the Monarch's Crown.
|
444 |
Adieu, then, to its hope; its earthly hope!
|
445 |
Elsewhere we'll seek it. Forth--oh forth, my Friends;
|
446 |
My generous, supporting, weeping Friends!
|
447 |
Forth from the Bar conduct me. It is past.
|
448 |
Justice has done her office! Mercy's fled:
|
449 |
And smiling, lo! she sits upon a cloud
|
450 |
Of fleecy whiteness, ting'd with azur'd gold,
|
451 |
And beams ineffable composure on me!
|
452 |
Light sits my bosom'd Master on his throne;
|
453 |
Airy and disencumber'd feels my Soul;
|
454 |
And, panting, wishes to spring instant up
|
455 |
To that white cloud,--the golden vehicle
|
456 |
To Realms of Rest immortal! In my Eyes,
|
457 |
So languid late, and all suffus'd with Tears,
|
458 |
Methinks I see Hope's lamp rekindle bright;
|
459 |
A living lustre; shedding, like the Sun,
|
460 |
After thick mists, Illumination's smile
|
461 |
O'er all my countenance, marr'd, dimm'd, and wan.
|
462 |
Cheerly, my Friends, oh cheerly! Look not thus
|
463 |
With Pity's melting softness! That alone
|
464 |
Can shake my Fortitude. All is not lost.
|
465 |
Lo! I have gain'd, on this important Day,
|
466 |
A Victory consummate--o'er myself,
|
467 |
And o'er this Life a Victory: On this Day,--
|
468 |
My Birth-day to Eternity--I've gain'd
|
469 |
Dismission from a World, where for a while,
|
470 |
Like You, like All, a Pilgrim passing poor,
|
471 |
A Traveller, a Stranger, I have met
|
472 |
But Stranger Treatment, rude and harsh! So much
|
473 |
The dearer, more desir'd, the Home I seek
|
474 |
Eternal of my Father and my God!
|
475 |
Ah, little thought ye, Prosecutors prompt,
|
476 |
To do me good like this! little intend
|
477 |
For earthly poverty to give th' exchange
|
478 |
Of wealth eternal! Cheronea's sage,
|
479 |
Thy Dogmas here, so paradoxal deem'd
|
480 |
By weak Half-thinkers [14] --see, how amply prov'd,
|
481 |
How verified by Men I judg'd my Foes;--
|
482 |
Friends in disguise, Heaven's Instruments of good!
|
483 |
Freely, triumphantly, my Soul forgives
|
484 |
Each injury, each evil they have wrought,
|
485 |
Each tear they've drawn, each groan they've cost my Heart,
|
486 |
Guiltless tow'rds Them, uninjur'd. Hapless Men!
|
487 |
Down do I look, with pity: fervent beg,
|
488 |
And unremitting from all-gracious Heaven
|
489 |
Eternal blessings on you! Be your lives,
|
490 |
Like mine, true convertites to Grace, to God!
|
491 |
And be your deaths--ah, there all difference ends--
|
492 |
Then be Our Deaths like his, th' atoning Just;
|
493 |
Like His, the Only Righteous, our last End!
|
494 |
But oh, oblivious Memory! baneful Woe,
|
495 |
Which thus in dull forgetfulness can steep
|
496 |
My Faculties;--forgetfulness of Her
|
497 |
My better self; for whom alone I wish,
|
498 |
Thus fallen, to remember that I am!
|
499 |
My Wife, my Soul's dear Partner in distress,
|
500 |
Where sits she? lives she? Ah not lives, but drags
|
501 |
The tedious, torturing, horrid, anxious Hours
|
502 |
Of this dire day!--In solemn silence wrapt,
|
503 |
--Expressive silence, motionless, compos'd,
|
504 |
The melancholy Mourner meekly waits
|
505 |
The awful issue! From her lovely Eyes
|
506 |
Drops not a tear! not ev'n a sigh is heard
|
507 |
From her deep-wounded Heart: Nor thro' her Lips,
|
508 |
Unsever'd from the luckless morn till night,
|
509 |
Mute Sufferer, steals a murmur! [15] Gentle Dove,
|
510 |
So, in the mournful absence of thy Mate,
|
511 |
Perhaps or levell'd by the Fowler's art,
|
512 |
Or lur'd in net insidious, sitt'st thou alone
|
513 |
Upon the bared bough; thy little Head
|
514 |
Nestling beneath thy silvery wings; while hang
|
515 |
Thy pennons, late so glossy, shivering down
|
516 |
Unplum'd, neglected, drooping! Thro' the Day
|
517 |
So tried, my tender Friends,--another task,
|
518 |
And heavier yet, remains to be perform'd.
|
519 |
Oh, with the balm of Comfort, with the Voice
|
520 |
Of soothing Softness, the sad truth unfold!
|
521 |
Approach the beauteous Mourner, all-rever'd;
|
522 |
And tell her, "that her Husband triumphs, lives;--
|
523 |
"Lives, tho' condemn'd; lives to a nobler life!
|
524 |
"Nor, in the gladsome view of that high life,
|
525 |
"Feels he to Death Reluctance: Blest with her,
|
526 |
"Indifferent in his choice to live or die!"
|
527 |
Be the decision Thine, Father of Life!
|
528 |
Thou gavest, Thou hast right to take away;
|
529 |
In each alike beneficent! If Thou
|
530 |
Hast pleasure in me, once more shall I share
|
531 |
Thy hallow'd Services, my Heart's chief Joy;
|
532 |
If not, with happy David--oh like his
|
533 |
Could my Song flow repentant--every thought
|
534 |
Uniting, cries with Resignation's voice,
|
535 |
"Do with me, Lord, as it shall seem Thee Good!" [16]
|
536 |
Thus supplicating, down my weary Head
|
537 |
To slumber on its wretched pillow sunk,
|
538 |
O'erpower'd, oppress'd. Nor on the main-mast high
|
539 |
Rock'd by the bellowing tempest, and the dash
|
540 |
Of furious surges, the poor ship-boy sleeps
|
541 |
More soundly, than my powers o'erwrought, amidst
|
542 |
The din of desperate Felons, and the roar
|
543 |
Of harden'd Guilt's mad midnight orgies loud!
|
544 |
But Fancy free, the busy Soul was wake;
|
545 |
Anticipation pleasing of its state,
|
546 |
When sleeps its clayey Prison in the Grave,
|
547 |
And forth it bursts to Liberty! Methought
|
548 |
--Such was the vision--in a lowly vale
|
549 |
Myself I found, whose living green was deck'd
|
550 |
With all the beauteous family of Spring;
|
551 |
Pale Primrose, modest Violet, Hare-bell blue,
|
552 |
Sweet-scented Eglantine of fragrance rich,
|
553 |
And permanent the Rose: Golden Jonquil,
|
554 |
And Polyanthus variegate of hue,
|
555 |
With Lilies dale delighting. Thro' the midst
|
556 |
Meandering of pure crystal flow'd a Stream
|
557 |
The flowery banks reflecting: On each side,
|
558 |
With homely Cots adorn'd, whose Habitants
|
559 |
When sorrow-sunk, my voice of comfort sooth'd;
|
560 |
When sickness worn, my hand of care reliev'd,
|
561 |
Tended, and, ministring to all their wants,
|
562 |
Instructed in the language of the Skies!
|
563 |
Dear was the Office, cheering was the Toil,
|
564 |
And something like angelic felt my Soul!
|
565 |
When lur'd, methought, by one of glittering hue,
|
566 |
(Bright gleam'd the coronet upon his Brow,
|
567 |
Rich glow'd his robe of crimson, ermine deck'd)
|
568 |
I toil'd to gain a neighbouring mountain's top,
|
569 |
Where blaz'd Preferment's Temple. So my Guide
|
570 |
With smile complacent taught, and led me on,
|
571 |
Softening with artful speech the tedious way,
|
572 |
And arduous ever. As I rose, the view
|
573 |
Still gloomier seem'd, and dreary; the strait path
|
574 |
Still straiter; and more sharp the pointed briars
|
575 |
Entangling! With insulting sneers the croud,
|
576 |
Pressing the same bad road, justled me by;
|
577 |
Or threw me prostrate: Till fatigu'd, and faint,
|
578 |
With feeble voice, exhausted quite, I cried,
|
579 |
"Oh to my Vale restore me! to my Cots,
|
580 |
"Illustrious Guide! my ministrations blest,
|
581 |
"Angelical and blessing!"--With a look
|
582 |
Of killing scorn he eyed me: Instant down,
|
583 |
Precipitate dash'd o'er me craggy rocks,
|
584 |
Tumbling tumultuous; and in dungeon dark,
|
585 |
Illumin'd only by the furious glare
|
586 |
Of Lynx and Tigers' eyes, thro' hunger fierce,
|
587 |
And eager to devour, trembling I lay!
|
588 |
When, in a moment, thro' the dungeon's gloom
|
589 |
Burst Light resplendent as the mid-day Sun,
|
590 |
From adamantine shield of Heavenly proof,
|
591 |
Held high by One, [17] of more than human port,
|
592 |
Advancing slow; while on his tow'ring crest
|
593 |
Sat Fortitude unshaken: At his feet
|
594 |
Crouch'd the half-famish'd Savages! From earth
|
595 |
He rais'd me, weeping, and with look of Peace
|
596 |
Benignant, pointed to a crimson Cross
|
597 |
On his bright Shield poutray'd. A milder form,
|
598 |
Yet of celestial sweetness,--such as oft
|
599 |
My raptur'd eyes have in the tablet trac'd
|
600 |
Of unaffected Penitence; of her
|
601 |
Pleasing similitude--the weeping Fair
|
602 |
Early from royal, but unhallow'd love,
|
603 |
To God's sole service flying [18] --Fam'd Le Brun,
|
604 |
Thy glowing pencil's Master-piece!--Such seem'd
|
605 |
Repentence, meek approaching. From the den,
|
606 |
Illumin'd and defended by Faith's shield,
|
607 |
My trembling feet she led; and having borne
|
608 |
Thro' perils infinite, and terrors wild
|
609 |
And various,--fainting almost my sick soul--
|
610 |
She left me at a gate of glittering gold,
|
611 |
Which open'd instantaneous at the touch
|
612 |
Of homely Porter, [19] clad in wolsey gray;
|
613 |
And ever bending lowly to the ground
|
614 |
His modest countenance! But what a scene,
|
615 |
--Admitted thro' the portal--on my sight
|
616 |
Transported rush'd! High on sapphire Throne,
|
617 |
Amidst a flame like carbuncle, sat Love,
|
618 |
Beaming forth living rays of Light and Joy
|
619 |
On choral crowds of Spirits infinite,
|
620 |
In Immortality and Glory cloth'd;
|
621 |
And hymning lofty Strains to Minstrelsy
|
622 |
Of golden Harps accorded, in His praise,
|
623 |
Love, uncreate, essential; Love, which bled;
|
624 |
Which bleeding blanch'd to purest white their robes,
|
625 |
And with eternal gold adorn'd their brows!
|
626 |
Dissolv'd, methought, and all my senses rapt
|
627 |
In vision beatific, to a bank
|
628 |
Of purple Amaranthus was I borne
|
629 |
By a superior Genius. His white wings
|
630 |
Distilling Panacea, dove-like spread
|
631 |
Refreshing fragrance o'er me: Firm of brow
|
632 |
And masculine he seem'd--th' ennobling Power
|
633 |
Angelic, destin'd in the human heart
|
634 |
To nourish Friendship's flame! Uprais'd my eyes
|
635 |
As from a Trance returning--"Spirit belov'd,
|
636 |
"And honour'd ever!" anxious strait I cried,
|
637 |
"Thrice welcome to my wishes! Oh impart--
|
638 |
"For you can tell--in these delightful Realms
|
639 |
"Of happiness supernal, shall we know,--
|
640 |
"Say, shall we meet and know those dearest Friends,
|
641 |
"Those tender Relatives, to whose concerns
|
642 |
"You minister appointed? Shall we meet
|
643 |
" In mutual amity? mutual converse hold,
|
644 |
" And live in Love immortal?--Oh relieve
|
645 |
"My aching heart's solicitude; and say,
|
646 |
"Here shall I meet, here know, in boundless bliss,
|
647 |
"Here view transported, Her, my Life's best Friend,
|
648 |
"My Sorrows' faithful Soother?"--Gushing tears
|
649 |
Impetuous stopp't my voice; and I awoke
|
650 |
To Earth, to Night, to Darkness, and a Jail!
|
651 |
1. April 14, 1777
2. END OF THE FOURTH WEEK.
Notes
(see also Works Cited)
[1] The verses subjoined were written by the King of Prussia, after a defeat, when one of his General Officers had proposed to set him the example of self-destruction:
A friend having given Dr. Dodd in prison a copy of these Lines, he was much pleased with them, and immediately paraphrased them as follows:Dan ces jours, pleins d'alarmes,La constance et la fermeteSont les boucliers et les armesQue j'oppose a l'adversite:Que le Destin me persecute,Qu'il prepare ou hate ma chute,Le danger ne peut m ebranler:Quand le vulgaire est plein de crainte,Que l'esperance semble, eteinte,L'homme fort doit se signaler.
BACKIn these sad moments of severe distress,When dangers threaten, and when sorrows press,For my defence behold what arms are given--Firmness of soul, and Confidence in Heaven!With these, tho' Fortune hunt me thro' the land,Tho' instant, utter ruin seem at hand!Compos'd and self-collected I remain,Nor start at perils, nor of ills complain:To mean Despair the low, the servile fly,When Hope's bright star seems darken'd in their sky:Then shines the Christian, and delights to proveHis faith unshaken, and unchang'd his Love!
BACKSegnius irritant animos demissa per aurem,Quam quae sunt oculis subjecta fidelibus, et quaeIpse sibi tradit Spectator!Hor.
BACKSo praysen Babes the Peacock's starry traine,And wondren at bright Argus' blazing eye;But who rewards him e'er the more for-thy?Or feeds him once the fuller by a graine?--Sike praise is smoke, that sheddeth in the skie,Sike words been winde, and wasten soon in vaine.Spenser.
[6] He intended to have established a "Charity for the Loan of Money, without interest, to industrious Tradesmen." Necessary Papers for that end were collected from Dublin, &c; and the following Address, which he wrote and inserted in the Publick Ledger of the 1st January 1776, will, in some measure, explain his purpose:
[7] "A plan for a National Female Seminary"--since found amongst the Author's papers; and which appears to have undergone the inspection, and received the approbation, of some very distinguished names. BACK
[8] Horace's precept must for ever stand forth as irrefragably just:
BACK---------------------"AdsitRegula! peccatis quae poenas irroget aequas:Ne Scutica dignum horribili sectere flagello."Sat. 3. Lib. I.
[9] "He had sometimes expressed his thoughts about our Penal Laws, that they were too sanguinary;--that they were against not only the laws of God, but of Nature;--that his own case was hard, that he should die for an Act, which he always declared to be wrong, but by which he never intended to injure any one individual; and that, as the Public had forgiven him, he thought he might have been pardoned. But now (the day before his execution) he laid all these thoughts touching himself aside; though he continued to think in the same manner of the Penal Laws to his end." See Ordinary's Account, p. 14. BACK
[11] Referring to the Independence of the Judges, settled by the King, as almost one of the first Acts of his Reign. BACK
BACK"I speechless sate;--nor plaintive word,"Nor murmur, from my Lips was heard."Merrick's Psalms, p. 39.