Week 4

TEI

THOUGHTS in PRISON.
WEEK THE FOURTH.
The Trial.


Dread'st thou an earthly bar? Thou, who so oft
 1
In contemplation serious hast employ'd
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Thy dearest meditations on a Bar
 3
Tremendously decisive! who so oft
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That Bar's important terrors hast display'd
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To crowds attentive; with the solemn theme
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Rapt into thought profound?--And beats thy heart
 7
With throbs tumultuous;--fail thy trembling knees,
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Now that in Judgment thou must stand before
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Weak mortals, like thyself! and soon, like thee,
 10
Shivering with guilt and apprehensions dire,
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To answer in dread Judgment 'fore their God?
 12
What gives that Judgment terror? Guilt, pale Guilt;
 13
Conscience accusing stern; the fiery Law,
 14
The terrible hand-writing on the wall!
 15
But vanish these,--that mighty Day's-Man found,
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Who, smiling on Confession's genuine tear,
 17
The meek repentant aspect, and the hand
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With ready, perfect retribution fraught,
 19
Urges complete his ransom, and sets free
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Th' immortal prisoner.--But, ah me! on earth
 21
Such golden mercy reigns not: here is found
 22
No potent Day's-Man; here no ransom full,
 23
No clement Mediator. Here stern Law,
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With visage all-unbending, eyes alone
 25
The rigorous Act. Confession here is Guilt,
 26
And Restitution perfect, perfect loss!
 27
Ah me the while, here men the Judges are;
 28
And there, th' Omnificent, Mercy's source and stream!
 29
Triumphant consolation! Firm in Faith,
 30
And justify'd by Him whose precious blood
 31
For Man flow'd liberal, the Soul, secure
 32
Of future acceptation at that Bar
 33
Of trial most momentous, soars above
 34
The World's severest trials,  [1] and can view
 35
Serene the horrors of an earthly Bar,
 36
Tho' far than death more horrid. Yes, kind Death,
 37
How preferable far thy sight to me!
 38
Oh that, without this tedious, dread detail
 39
Of awful circumstance,--this long, sad pomp
 40
Of ministering wretchedness, thy friendly shaft
 41
Had instant reach'd, and pierc'd my tortur'd Heart:
 42
How had I blest the stroke, and been at peace!
 43
But, thro' a dreary avenue of woe,
 44
A lengthen'd vault of black distress and shame,
 45
With mournful melancholy sable hung,
 46
Must I be led,  [2]  --or ere I can receive
 47
Thine icy comforts to my chill'd Life's Blood!
 48
Welcome, thrice welcome were they! But the call
 49
Of Heaven's dread Arbiter we wait: His Will
 50
Is rectitude consummate. 'Tis the Will
 51
Parental of high Wisdom and pure Love!
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Then to that Will submissive bend, my Soul:
 53
And, while meek Resignation to the Rod
 54
Corrective of his Justice and his Love
 55
Obedient bows,--Oh for impartial search!
 56
Oh for a Trial strict, to trace the Cause,
 57
The fatal Cause, whence sprung the ill deplor'd!
 58
And why--sad spectacle of Woe--we stand
 59
Thus, Sin and Sorrow-sunk, at this Dread Bar!
 60
Return, blest Hours! ye peaceful Days, return!
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When thro' each office of celestial Love
 62
Ennobling Piety my glad Feet led
 63
Continual, and my Head each Night to rest
 64
Lull'd on the downy pillow of Content!
 65
Dear were thy shades, O Ham! and dear the Hours
 66
In manly musing 'midst' thy Forests pass'd,
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And antique Woods of sober Solitude,
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Oh Epping! witness to my lonely walks
 69
By Heaven-directed Contemplation led!
 70
Ye Days of Duty, tranquil Nights, return!
 71
How ill exchang'd for those, which busier scenes
 72
To the World's Follies dedicate, engross'd,
 73
In specious trifling; all important deem'd,
 74
While gilt, O Chesterfield! with seeming gold
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Of prime refinement, thro' thy fostering smile,
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And patronage auspicious!
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Sought by Thee,
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And singled out, unpatroniz'd, unknown;
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By Thee, whose taste consummate was applause,
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Whose approbation merit; forth I came,
 81
And with me to the task, delighted, brought
 82
The upright purpose, the intention firm
 83
To fill the charge, to justify the choice,
 84
Perchance too flattering to my Heart; a Heart
 85
Frank, inexpert, unhackney'd in the World,
 86
And yet estrang'd to guile! But ye, more skill'd
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In that World's artful style, Judges severe;
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Say, in the zenith of bright Stanhope's Sun
 89
(Though set that Sun, alas! in misty clouds);
 90
Say 'midst his lustre, whom would not that choice
 91
Have flatter'd?--And still more, when urg'd, approv'd,
 92
And bless'd by Thee, St. David's! Honour'd Friend;
 93
Alike in Wisdom's and in Learning's School
 94
Advanc'd and sage!---Short pause, my Muse, and sad
 95
Allow, while leaning on Affection's arm
 96
Deep-sighing Gratitude, with Tears of Truth,
 97
Bedews the Urn, the happy Urn, where rest
 98
Mingled thy Ashes, oh my Friend! and Her's
 99
Whose Life bound up with thine in amity
 100
Indissolubly firm, felt thy last pang
 101
Disrupting as her own; gently sigh'd forth
 102
The precious Boon: while sprung her faithful Soul,
 103
Indignant without Thee to rest below,
 104
On Wings of Love, to meet Thee in the Skies!
 105
Blest pair! and envied! Envied and embalm'd
 106
In our recording memory, my Wife,
 107
My Friend, my lov'd Maria! Be our lot
 108
Like theirs!--But soft,--ah my foreboding thoughts!
 109
Repress the gushing Tear;--return, my Song.
 110
Plac'd thus, and shelter'd underneath a Tree,
 111
Which seem'd like that in Visions of the Night
 112
To Babylonia's haughty Prince pourtray'd,
 113
Whose height reach'd Heaven, and whose verdant boughs
 114
Extended wide their succour and their shade;
 115
How did I trust, too confident! How dream
 116
That Fortune's smiles were mine! and how deceiv'd,
 117
By gradual declension yield my trust,
 118
My humble happy trust on Thee, my God!
 119
How ill exchang'd for confidence in Man,
 120
In Chesterfields, in Princes!--Wider scenes,
 121
Alps still on Alps were open'd to my view;
 122
And, as the circle in the Flood enlarg'd,
 123
Enlarg'd expences call. Fed to the full
 124
With Flattery's light food,  [3]  and the puff'd wind
 125
Of promises delusive----"Onward still!
 126
"Press onward!" cried the World's alluring voice;
 127
"The time of retribution is at hand:
 128
"See the ripe Vintage waits thee!" Fool, and blind,
 129
Still credulous I heard, and still pursued
 130
The airy meteor glittering, thro' the mire,
 131
Thro' brake and bog, till more and more ingulph'd
 132
In the deceitful quag, floundering I lay.
 133
Nor heard was then the World's alluring voice,
 134
Or promises delusive: Then not seen
 135
The Tree umbrageous, with its ample shade:
 136
For me, alas, that Tree had shade no more!
 137
But, struggling in the gulph, my languid Eye
 138
Saw only round the barren rushy Moor,
 139
The flat, wide, dreary Desert:--Till a Hope,
 140
Dress'd by the Tempter in an Angel's form,
 141
Presenting its fair hand,--imagin'd fair,
 142
Though foul as murkiest Hell,--to drag me forth,
 143
Down to the centre plung'd me, dark and dire
 144
Of howling Ruin;--bottomless Abyss
 145
Of desolating Shame, and nameless Woe!
 146
But, witness Heaven and Earth, 'midst this brief stage,
 147
This blasting period of my chequer'd Life,
 148
Tho' by the World's gay vanities allur'd,
 149
I danc'd, too oft, alas! with the wild rout
 150
Of thoughtless Fellow-Mortals, to the sound
 151
Of Folly's tinkling Bells; tho' oft, too oft,
 152
Those pastimes shar'd enervating, which ill
 153
--Howe'er by some judg'd innocent,--become
 154
Religion's sober character and garb:
 155
Tho' oft, too oft, by weak compliance led,
 156
External seemings, and the ruinous bait
 157
Of smooth politeness, what my heart condemn'd
 158
Unwise it practis'd;--never without pang!
 159
Tho' too much influenc'd by the pleasing force
 160
Of native generosity, uncurb'd
 161
And unchastis'd (as Reason, Duty taught),
 162
Prudent Economy, in thy sober School
 163
Of parsimonious Lecture; useful lore,
 164
And of prime moment to our worldly weal;
 165
--Yet, witness Heaven and Earth, amidst this Dream,
 166
This transient Vision, ne'er so slept my Soul,
 167
Or sacrific'd my Hands at Folly's Shrine,
 168
As to forget Religion's publick Toil,
 169
Study's improvement, or the pleading cause
 170
Of suffering Humanity!--Gracious God,
 171
How wonderful a compound, mixture strange,
 172
Incongruous, inconsistent, is frail Man!
 173
Yes, my lov'd Charlotte, whose Top-stone with joy
 174
My careful Hands brought forth, what time expell'd
 175
From Ham's lost Paradise, and driv'n to seek
 176
Another place of Rest! Yes, beauteous Fane!
 177
To bright Religion dedicate, Thou well
 178
My happy public Labours canst attest,
 179
Unwearied and successful in the Cause,
 180
The glorious, honour'd Cause of Him, whose Love
 181
Bled for the human Race! Thou canst attest
 182
The Sabbath-days delightful, when the throng
 183
Crowded thy hallow'd Walls with eager joy,
 184
To hear Truth evangelical; the sound
 185
Of Gospel Comfort! When attentive sate,
 186
Or at the Holy Altar humbly knelt,
 187
Persuasive, pleasing Patterns--Athol's Duke,
 188
The polish'd Hervey, Kingston the humane,
 189
Aylesbury and Marchmont, Romney all-rever'd;
 190
With Numbers more--by splendid Titles less
 191
Than Piety distinguish'd and pure Zeal.
 192
Nor, 'midst this public Duty's blest-discharge,
 193
Pass'd idle, unimproving, unemploy'd,
 194
My other Days;--as if the Sabbath's task
 195
Fulfill'd, the business of the Week was done,
 196
Or self-allow'd. Witness, thrice holy Book!
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Pure transcript of the Eternal's Will to Man:
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Witness with what assiduous care I turn'd
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Daily the hallow'd page; with what deep search
 200
Explor'd thy sacred meaning; thro' the round
 201
Of learn'd Expositors and grave trod slow,
 202
And painfully deliberating; the while
 203
My labours unremitting to the World
 204
Convey'd instruction large;--and shall convey,
 205
When moulders in the Grave the feeble Hand,
 206
The Head, the Heart, that gave those Labours  [4] Birth.
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Oh happy Toil! oh Labours well employ'd!
 208
Oh sweet remembrance to my sickening Soul!
 209
Blest Volumes! Nor, tho' levell'd in the Dust
 210
Of Self-annihilation, shall my Soul
 211
Cease to rejoice, or thy preventive grace
 212
Adoring laud, Fountain of every good!
 213
For that no letter'd poison ever stain'd
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My page, how weak soe'er; for that my pen,
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However humble, ne'er has trac'd a line
 216
Of tendency immoral, whose black Guilt
 217
It well might wish to blot with Tears of Blood!
 218
Dear to the Christian shall my little works,
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--Effusions of a Heart sincere, devote
 220
To God and Duty,--happily survive
 221
Their wretched Master; and thro' lengthen'd Years
 222
To Souls opprest Comfort's sweet balm impart;
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And teach the pensive Mourner how to die.  [5] 
 224
Thou too, blest Charity! whose golden Key
 225
So liberal unlocks the Prison's Gate
 226
At the poor Debtor's call; oh, witness Thou,
 227
To cruel taxers of my Time and Thought,
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All was not lost, all were not misemploy'd,
 229
Nor all Humanity's fair rights forgot:
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Since thou, spontaneous effort of the last,
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My pity's child, and by the first matur'd,
 232
Amidst this flattering, fatal Era rose;
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Rose into being, to perfection rose,
 234
Beneath my humble fostering! And, at length
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Grown into publick favour, thou shalt live;
 236
And endless good diffuse, when sleeps in dust
 237
Thy hapless Founder; now, by direst fate,
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Locked in a Prison, whence thy bounty sets,
 239
And shall,--oh Comfort!--long set thousands free.
 240
Happy, thrice happy, had my active zeal,--
 241
Already deemed too active 'chance, by some,
 242
Whose frozen Hearts, in icy fetters bound
 243
Of sordid selfishness, ne'er felt the warmth,
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The genial warmth of pure Benevolence,
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Love's ardent flame aspiring;--had that Flame
 246
Kindled my glowing zeal into effect,
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And to thy Counterpart  [6]  existence giv'n,
 248
Lov'd Institution; with its guardian aid
 249
Protecting from the Prison's ruinous doors,
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Those whom thy kindly mercy rescues thence!
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Or, had that zeal, on firm foundation fix'd
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Like thine, my favourite Magdalen,--the Plan,
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Preservative of tender Female Fame,  [7] 
 254
Fair Innocence and Virtue, from those ills
 255
Destructive, complicate, which only find
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Relief beneath thy hospitable roof;
 257
How had I died exulting!--But, oh raise,
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Inspire some godlike Spirit, some great Soul,
 259
Father of Mercies! of all Love, all Good
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Author and Finisher;--these, and every work
 261
Beneficent, with Courage to pursue,
 262
With Wisdom to complete! Oh crown his zeal;
 263
While sorrowing Human Nature, by his Hand
 264
Cherish'd and sooth'd, to latest times shall tell,
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And bless with tears of gratitude his Name!
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Mine is a different fate!--confess'd, just Judge,
 267
The meed of human mixture in my works
 268
Imperfect, frail; and needing, even the best,
 269
Thy pardon, and the cleansing of thy blood!
 270
Else, whence the frequent retributions base,
 271
Calumnious and ungrateful, for the deeds
 272
Of private Pity? Whence, for public Acts,
 273
The stab opprobrious, and the slanders vile?
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Or whence, at this dread moment,--from the sight
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Shrowd me in tenfold darkness!--Mercy, Heaven!
 276
And is it He--th' ingenuous Youth, so oft
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Of all my being, fortune, comfort deem'd
 278
The generous, ample source?--And is it He,
 279
In whom, thro' drear Misfortune's darkest night,
 280
I saw Hope's day-star rising?--Angel of Peace,
 281
Amidst his future hours, my life's sad loss
 282
Let not accusing Conscience to his charge
 283
Impute, distracting!--to my crimson'd guilt
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Oh let him lay it, as the forfeit due,
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And justly paid!--Would Heaven that it were paid!
 286
Oh, that with Rome's first Caesar, in my robe
 287
From sight so killing, mantled up mine eyes,
 288
I might receive the welcome stab; sigh forth,
 289
"My Philip, my lov'd Stanhope,--Is it Thou!
 290
"--Then let me die!"-----
 291
Yet, tho' thus wounded at this Bar I stand
 292
In pangs unutterable, witness Heaven,
 293
With deep commiseration do I view
 294
Their sedulous anxiety to prove
 295
A guilt, my heart--too wounded to deny,
 296
Wounded by that Guilt's sense, its bitterest part,--
 297
Instant avow'd. What need then all this toil?
 298
The deed is done! Wound not the fall'n Hart,--
 299
'Tis cruel--that lies bleeding at your feet!
 300
"I own the whole; I urge no legal plea!
 301
"On dire Necessity's imperious call,
 302
"(Sons of the Robe, of Commerce, Sons of Men,
 303
"That call imperious have you never heard?)
 304
"On full Intention to repay the whole.
 305
"And on that full Intention's perfect work,
 306
"Free Restoration and complete: on wrong
 307
"Or injury to none design'd or wrought,
 308
"I rest my claim;--I found my sole defence."
 309
"Groundless,--'tis thunder'd in my ears--and weak!
 310
"For, in the rigid Courts of human Law,
 311
"No Restitution wipes away th' offence,
 312
"Nor does Intention justify." So spoke
 313
(And who shall argue?) Judgment's awful voice!
 314
Haste then, ye weeping Jurymen, and pass
 315
Th' awarded sentence! To the World, to Fame,
 316
To Honour, Fortune, Peace, and Stanhope lost,
 317
What have I more to lose? or can I think
 318
Death were an Evil to a Wretch like me!
 319
Yet, oh ye sons of Justice!--ere we quit
 320
This awful Court, Expostulation's voice
 321
One moment hear impartial. Give awhile
 322
Your honest hearts to Nature's touches true,
 323
Her fine resentments faithful! Draw aside
 324
That veil from Reason's clear reflecting view,
 325
Which Practice long, and Rectitude suppos'd
 326
Of Laws establish'd, hath obstructive hung!
 327
But, pleads or time, or long prescription aught
 328
In favour or abatement of the wrong
 329
By Folly wrought, or Error? Hoary grown,
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And sanctify'd by Custom's habit grey,
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Absurdity stalks forth, still more absurd,
 332
And double shame reflects upon an age
 333
Wise and enlighten'd. Should not equal laws
 334
Their punishments proportionate to crimes;  [8] 
 335
Nor, all Draconick, ev'n to blood pursue
 336
Vindictive, where the venial poor offence
 337
Cries loud for mercy? Death's the last demand
 338
Law can exact: The penalty extreme
 339
Of human crime! And shall the petty thief
 340
Succumb beneath its terrors, when no more
 341
Pays the bold murderer, crimson'd o'er with guilt?
 342
Few are the crimes against or God or Man,
 343
--Consult th' Eternal Code of Right or Wrong,--
 344
Which e'er can justify this last extreme,  [9] 
 345
This wanton sporting with the human life,
 346
This trade in blood! Ye Sages, then, review,
 347
Speedy and diligent, the Penal Code,
 348
Humanity's disgrace; our Nation's first
 349
And just reproach, amidst its vaunted boasts,
 350
Of Equity and Mercy!--Shiver not
 351
Full oft your inmost souls, when from the Bench
 352
Ye deal out death tremendous; and proclaim
 353
Th' irrevocable sentence on a wretch
 354
Pluck'd early from the paths of social life,
 355
And, immature, to the low grave consign'd
 356
For misdemeanors trivial? Runs not back,
 357
Affrighted, to its fountain your chill'd blood,
 358
When, deck'd in all the horrid pomp of death,
 359
And Gothic rage surpassing, to the flames
 360
The weaker sex,--incredible--you doom;
 361
Denouncing punishments the more severe,
 362
As less of strength is found to bear their force?
 363
Shame on the savage practice! Oh stand forth
 364
In the great cause,--Compassion's, Equity's,
 365
Your Nation's, Truth's, Religion's, Honour's Cause,
 366
--Stand forth, reflecting Eden!  [10]  Well thou'st toil'd
 367
Already in the honourable field:
 368
Might thy young labours animate! The hour
 369
Auspicious is arriv'd. Sages esteem'd,
 370
And venerably learn'd, as in the School
 371
Of legal Science, so in that of Worth
 372
And Sentiment exalted, fill the Bench:
 373
And lo! the Imperial Muscovite, intent
 374
On Public-weal, a bright example shines
 375
Of civilizing Justice. Sages, rise:
 376
The Cause, the animating Pattern calls!
 377
Oh, I adjure you, with my parting breath,
 378
By all your hopes of Mercy and of Peace,
 379
By all the Blood henceforth unjustly spilt,
 380
Or wantonly! by all the Sorrows deep,
 381
And scalding Tears shed for that blood so spilt!
 382
In God's tremendous Name, lo, I adjure,
 383
Without procrastination to the task
 384
Important that you haste! With equal hand
 385
In scales of temperate Justice balance well
 386
The claims of pleading Mercy! Unto crimes
 387
Inflictions just and adequate assign;
 388
On Reformation or Example sole,
 389
And all impartial, constantly intent!
 390
Banish the Rage for Blood! for Tortures fell,
 391
Savage, reproachful: Study to restore
 392
Its young, its useful members to the State,
 393
Well disciplin'd, corrected, moraliz'd;
 394
Preserv'd at once from Shame, from Death, from Hell,
 395
Men, Rationals, Immortals,--Sons of God.
 396
Oh prosperous be your labours, crown'd your zeal!
 397
So shall the annals of our Sovereign's Reign
 398
Distinguish'd by your Virtue,--noble fruit
 399
Of that high independence He bestow'd  [11] 
 400
So freely from the Treasury of his Love
 401
To genuine Justice--down to future Times
 402
Transmitting the rich blessing, shine renowned
 403
With truest glory; not by Hers surpass'd,
 404
Th' immortal Legislator of the North!
 405
Ah me, unhappy! to that Sovereign's Ear
 406
Resolv'd to bring those Truths, which labouring long,
 407
Have lain, and tost upon my anxious thoughts:  [12] 
 408
Thence too am I excluded! Fatal Stroke,
 409
And wounding to my peace! Rigour extreme
 410
Of angry vengeance! "Nay, it recks not now,"
 411
Oft, 'midst the tempest of my grief, I cried,
 412
"It recks not now what falls me! From the House
 413
"Of Him I honour'd, shut! Him, whose lov'd Sire
 414
"My Muse in strains elegiac weeping sung,  [13] 
 415
"Mixing her tribute with a Nation's Tears!
 416
"Him to whose high-born Race,--of Liberty
 417
"Firm Friends and Fautors--from my earliest Youth,
 418
"My Heart, devoted, willing homage paid,
 419
"And sacred reverence: So paternal Love
 420
"And so my College taught, delightful Clare!"
 421
Dear ever to my Memory for Hours
 422
In innocence and peaceful study past;
 423
Nor less for Thee, my Friend, my Lancaster!
 424
Blest Youth, in early Hour from this Life's woes
 425
In richest Mercy borne! Had I but died,
 426
Oh had I died for Thee, how had I shunn'd
 427
This harsh severity,--exclusion sad
 428
From my lov'd Royal Master! how escap'd
 429
Its ills attendant!--Reputation dies,
 430
The darling of my Soul, beneath the stroke!
 431
Wild, wanton curses tear my mangled Fame!
 432
My sphere of usefulness contracted shrinks;
 433
And Infamy herself with "ghastly smiles"
 434
My ruin ridicules! Turn, turn, my Brain!
 435
Distracted! madden'd, turn! of Reason more,
 436
Religion, Duty, Eminence, dream not:
 437
The door of Mercy's clos'd. Thee--oft from Thee
 438
Mercy, sweet Heaven! have I sought and found;
 439
From Fellow-Mortals seldom could I find,
 440
How humbled e'er, or penitent, for faults;
 441
--And who of erring Mortals faultless breathes?
 442
Mercy; that gift of Thine, which most adorns
 443
The Judge's Vestment, and the Monarch's Crown.
 444
Adieu, then, to its hope; its earthly hope!
 445
Elsewhere we'll seek it. Forth--oh forth, my Friends;
 446
My generous, supporting, weeping Friends!
 447
Forth from the Bar conduct me. It is past.
 448
Justice has done her office! Mercy's fled:
 449
And smiling, lo! she sits upon a cloud
 450
Of fleecy whiteness, ting'd with azur'd gold,
 451
And beams ineffable composure on me!
 452
Light sits my bosom'd Master on his throne;
 453
Airy and disencumber'd feels my Soul;
 454
And, panting, wishes to spring instant up
 455
To that white cloud,--the golden vehicle
 456
To Realms of Rest immortal! In my Eyes,
 457
So languid late, and all suffus'd with Tears,
 458
Methinks I see Hope's lamp rekindle bright;
 459
A living lustre; shedding, like the Sun,
 460
After thick mists, Illumination's smile
 461
O'er all my countenance, marr'd, dimm'd, and wan.
 462
Cheerly, my Friends, oh cheerly! Look not thus
 463
With Pity's melting softness! That alone
 464
Can shake my Fortitude. All is not lost.
 465
Lo! I have gain'd, on this important Day,
 466
A Victory consummate--o'er myself,
 467
And o'er this Life a Victory: On this Day,--
 468
My Birth-day to Eternity--I've gain'd
 469
Dismission from a World, where for a while,
 470
Like You, like All, a Pilgrim passing poor,
 471
A Traveller, a Stranger, I have met
 472
But Stranger Treatment, rude and harsh! So much
 473
The dearer, more desir'd, the Home I seek
 474
Eternal of my Father and my God!
 475
Ah, little thought ye, Prosecutors prompt,
 476
To do me good like this! little intend
 477
For earthly poverty to give th' exchange
 478
Of wealth eternal! Cheronea's sage,
 479
Thy Dogmas here, so paradoxal deem'd
 480
By weak Half-thinkers  [14]  --see, how amply prov'd,
 481
How verified by Men I judg'd my Foes;--
 482
Friends in disguise, Heaven's Instruments of good!
 483
Freely, triumphantly, my Soul forgives
 484
Each injury, each evil they have wrought,
 485
Each tear they've drawn, each groan they've cost my Heart,
 486
Guiltless tow'rds Them, uninjur'd. Hapless Men!
 487
Down do I look, with pity: fervent beg,
 488
And unremitting from all-gracious Heaven
 489
Eternal blessings on you! Be your lives,
 490
Like mine, true convertites to Grace, to God!
 491
And be your deaths--ah, there all difference ends--
 492
Then be Our Deaths like his, th' atoning Just;
 493
Like His, the Only Righteous, our last End!
 494
But oh, oblivious Memory! baneful Woe,
 495
Which thus in dull forgetfulness can steep
 496
My Faculties;--forgetfulness of Her
 497
My better self; for whom alone I wish,
 498
Thus fallen, to remember that I am!
 499
My Wife, my Soul's dear Partner in distress,
 500
Where sits she? lives she? Ah not lives, but drags
 501
The tedious, torturing, horrid, anxious Hours
 502
Of this dire day!--In solemn silence wrapt,
 503
--Expressive silence, motionless, compos'd,
 504
The melancholy Mourner meekly waits
 505
The awful issue! From her lovely Eyes
 506
Drops not a tear! not ev'n a sigh is heard
 507
From her deep-wounded Heart: Nor thro' her Lips,
 508
Unsever'd from the luckless morn till night,
 509
Mute Sufferer, steals a murmur!  [15] Gentle Dove,
 510
So, in the mournful absence of thy Mate,
 511
Perhaps or levell'd by the Fowler's art,
 512
Or lur'd in net insidious, sitt'st thou alone
 513
Upon the bared bough; thy little Head
 514
Nestling beneath thy silvery wings; while hang
 515
Thy pennons, late so glossy, shivering down
 516
Unplum'd, neglected, drooping! Thro' the Day
 517
So tried, my tender Friends,--another task,
 518
And heavier yet, remains to be perform'd.
 519
Oh, with the balm of Comfort, with the Voice
 520
Of soothing Softness, the sad truth unfold!
 521
Approach the beauteous Mourner, all-rever'd;
 522
And tell her, "that her Husband triumphs, lives;--
 523
"Lives, tho' condemn'd; lives to a nobler life!
 524
"Nor, in the gladsome view of that high life,
 525
"Feels he to Death Reluctance: Blest with her,
 526
"Indifferent in his choice to live or die!"
 527
Be the decision Thine, Father of Life!
 528
Thou gavest, Thou hast right to take away;
 529
In each alike beneficent! If Thou
 530
Hast pleasure in me, once more shall I share
 531
Thy hallow'd Services, my Heart's chief Joy;
 532
If not, with happy David--oh like his
 533
Could my Song flow repentant--every thought
 534
Uniting, cries with Resignation's voice,
 535
"Do with me, Lord, as it shall seem Thee Good!"  [16] 
 536
Thus supplicating, down my weary Head
 537
To slumber on its wretched pillow sunk,
 538
O'erpower'd, oppress'd. Nor on the main-mast high
 539
Rock'd by the bellowing tempest, and the dash
 540
Of furious surges, the poor ship-boy sleeps
 541
More soundly, than my powers o'erwrought, amidst
 542
The din of desperate Felons, and the roar
 543
Of harden'd Guilt's mad midnight orgies loud!
 544
But Fancy free, the busy Soul was wake;
 545
Anticipation pleasing of its state,
 546
When sleeps its clayey Prison in the Grave,
 547
And forth it bursts to Liberty! Methought
 548
--Such was the vision--in a lowly vale
 549
Myself I found, whose living green was deck'd
 550
With all the beauteous family of Spring;
 551
Pale Primrose, modest Violet, Hare-bell blue,
 552
Sweet-scented Eglantine of fragrance rich,
 553
And permanent the Rose: Golden Jonquil,
 554
And Polyanthus variegate of hue,
 555
With Lilies dale delighting. Thro' the midst
 556
Meandering of pure crystal flow'd a Stream
 557
The flowery banks reflecting: On each side,
 558
With homely Cots adorn'd, whose Habitants
 559
When sorrow-sunk, my voice of comfort sooth'd;
 560
When sickness worn, my hand of care reliev'd,
 561
Tended, and, ministring to all their wants,
 562
Instructed in the language of the Skies!
 563
Dear was the Office, cheering was the Toil,
 564
And something like angelic felt my Soul!
 565
When lur'd, methought, by one of glittering hue,
 566
(Bright gleam'd the coronet upon his Brow,
 567
Rich glow'd his robe of crimson, ermine deck'd)
 568
I toil'd to gain a neighbouring mountain's top,
 569
Where blaz'd Preferment's Temple. So my Guide
 570
With smile complacent taught, and led me on,
 571
Softening with artful speech the tedious way,
 572
And arduous ever. As I rose, the view
 573
Still gloomier seem'd, and dreary; the strait path
 574
Still straiter; and more sharp the pointed briars
 575
Entangling! With insulting sneers the croud,
 576
Pressing the same bad road, justled me by;
 577
Or threw me prostrate: Till fatigu'd, and faint,
 578
With feeble voice, exhausted quite, I cried,
 579
"Oh to my Vale restore me! to my Cots,
 580
"Illustrious Guide! my ministrations blest,
 581
"Angelical and blessing!"--With a look
 582
Of killing scorn he eyed me: Instant down,
 583
Precipitate dash'd o'er me craggy rocks,
 584
Tumbling tumultuous; and in dungeon dark,
 585
Illumin'd only by the furious glare
 586
Of Lynx and Tigers' eyes, thro' hunger fierce,
 587
And eager to devour, trembling I lay!
 588
When, in a moment, thro' the dungeon's gloom
 589
Burst Light resplendent as the mid-day Sun,
 590
From adamantine shield of Heavenly proof,
 591
Held high by One,  [17]  of more than human port,
 592
Advancing slow; while on his tow'ring crest
 593
Sat Fortitude unshaken: At his feet
 594
Crouch'd the half-famish'd Savages! From earth
 595
He rais'd me, weeping, and with look of Peace
 596
Benignant, pointed to a crimson Cross
 597
On his bright Shield poutray'd. A milder form,
 598
Yet of celestial sweetness,--such as oft
 599
My raptur'd eyes have in the tablet trac'd
 600
Of unaffected Penitence; of her
 601
Pleasing similitude--the weeping Fair
 602
Early from royal, but unhallow'd love,
 603
To God's sole service flying  [18]  --Fam'd Le Brun,
 604
Thy glowing pencil's Master-piece!--Such seem'd
 605
Repentence, meek approaching. From the den,
 606
Illumin'd and defended by Faith's shield,
 607
My trembling feet she led; and having borne
 608
Thro' perils infinite, and terrors wild
 609
And various,--fainting almost my sick soul--
 610
She left me at a gate of glittering gold,
 611
Which open'd instantaneous at the touch
 612
Of homely Porter,  [19]  clad in wolsey gray;
 613
And ever bending lowly to the ground
 614
His modest countenance! But what a scene,
 615
--Admitted thro' the portal--on my sight
 616
Transported rush'd! High on sapphire Throne,
 617
Amidst a flame like carbuncle, sat Love,
 618
Beaming forth living rays of Light and Joy
 619
On choral crowds of Spirits infinite,
 620
In Immortality and Glory cloth'd;
 621
And hymning lofty Strains to Minstrelsy
 622
Of golden Harps accorded, in His praise,
 623
Love, uncreate, essential; Love, which bled;
 624
Which bleeding blanch'd to purest white their robes,
 625
And with eternal gold adorn'd their brows!
 626
Dissolv'd, methought, and all my senses rapt
 627
In vision beatific, to a bank
 628
Of purple Amaranthus was I borne
 629
By a superior Genius. His white wings
 630
Distilling Panacea, dove-like spread
 631
Refreshing fragrance o'er me: Firm of brow
 632
And masculine he seem'd--th' ennobling Power
 633
Angelic, destin'd in the human heart
 634
To nourish Friendship's flame! Uprais'd my eyes
 635
As from a Trance returning--"Spirit belov'd,
 636
"And honour'd ever!" anxious strait I cried,
 637
"Thrice welcome to my wishes! Oh impart--
 638
"For you can tell--in these delightful Realms
 639
"Of happiness supernal, shall we know,--
 640
"Say, shall we meet and know those dearest Friends,
 641
"Those tender Relatives, to whose concerns
 642
"You minister appointed? Shall we meet
 643
" In mutual amity? mutual converse hold,
 644
" And live in Love immortal?--Oh relieve
 645
"My aching heart's solicitude; and say,
 646
"Here shall I meet, here know, in boundless bliss,
 647
"Here view transported, Her, my Life's best Friend,
 648
"My Sorrows' faithful Soother?"--Gushing tears
 649
Impetuous stopp't my voice; and I awoke
 650
To Earth, to Night, to Darkness, and a Jail!
 651

1.         April 14, 1777


2.        END OF THE FOURTH WEEK.

Notes

(see also Works Cited)

[1] The verses subjoined were written by the King of Prussia, after a defeat, when one of his General Officers had proposed to set him the example of self-destruction:

Dan ces jours, pleins d'alarmes,
La constance et la fermete
Sont les boucliers et les armes
Que j'oppose a l'adversite:
Que le Destin me persecute,
Qu'il prepare ou hate ma chute,
Le danger ne peut m ebranler:
Quand le vulgaire est plein de crainte,
Que l'esperance semble, eteinte,
L'homme fort doit se signaler.
A friend having given Dr. Dodd in prison a copy of these Lines, he was much pleased with them, and immediately paraphrased them as follows:
In these sad moments of severe distress,
When dangers threaten, and when sorrows press,
For my defence behold what arms are given
--Firmness of soul, and Confidence in Heaven!
With these, tho' Fortune hunt me thro' the land,
Tho' instant, utter ruin seem at hand!
Compos'd and self-collected I remain,
Nor start at perils, nor of ills complain:
To mean Despair the low, the servile fly,
When Hope's bright star seems darken'd in their sky:
Then shines the Christian, and delights to prove
His faith unshaken, and unchang'd his Love!
BACK

[2]

Segnius irritant animos demissa per aurem,
Quam quae sunt oculis subjecta fidelibus, et quae
Ipse sibi tradit Spectator!
Hor.
BACK

[3]

So praysen Babes the Peacock's starry traine,
And wondren at bright Argus' blazing eye;
But who rewards him e'er the more for-thy?
Or feeds him once the fuller by a graine?
--Sike praise is smoke, that sheddeth in the skie,
Sike words been winde, and wasten soon in vaine.
Spenser.
BACK

[4] Alluding to "Commentary on the Bible," in three Volumes, Folio. BACK

[5] Referring to "Comfort for the Afflicted," and "Reflections on Death." BACK

[6] He intended to have established a "Charity for the Loan of Money, without interest, to industrious Tradesmen." Necessary Papers for that end were collected from Dublin, &c; and the following Address, which he wrote and inserted in the Publick Ledger of the 1st January 1776, will, in some measure, explain his purpose:

To the Wealthy in the Commercial World
I have often wished most sincerely to see a charitable Fund established in this great and trading City, for the beneficent purpose of "lending to honest and industrious Tradesmen small sums without interest, and on a reasonable Security." The benefits which would arise from such an establishment are too obvious to need enumeration. Almost every News-paper tends more and more to convince me of the necessity of such a plan; for in almost every News-paper we read Advertisements from Tradesmen, soliciting little sums in their distress; and offering--poor unhappy men! even premiums for those little sums. It is not possible but that persons occupied in trade and commerce must feel for the difficulties of their brethren, and be ready to promote the undertaking I would wish to recommend, although on no interested motives;--for I am no Tradesman, nor can any way be benefitted by the plan. Pure good will, and a compassionate respect to the hardships and distresses of my fellow-creatures actuate my heart: And from these motives, I shall be happy to proceed upon, and prosecute this plan, with all the efforts and assiduity I am able, if it shall be approved by the benevolent, and they will testfy that approbation, and desire of concurrence, by a line directed to D. at Anderton's Coffee-house, Fleet-street. In consequence of which, should a probability of success appear, a meeting shall speedily be advertised in the Papers, and all measures pursued, to put the good design into immediate execution, which on such a meeting may be judged advisable. It may be proper just to observe, that in many cities abroad,--at Rome in particular,--there are institutions of this sort: and there has been one established for many years at Dublin, which is found productive of the happiest consequences. It is made in Scripture one characteristic of the good man, "that he is merciful and lendeth"; and a very small sum, thus given to a permanent establishment, may enable a man to lend for perpetuity! How can we better begin the New Year, my worthy and humane countrymen! than by entering on a work, which may draw down upon us God's blessing, by our charitable relief to many sons and daughters of honest and laborious industry?--,
Humanity.
BACK

[7] "A plan for a National Female Seminary"--since found amongst the Author's papers; and which appears to have undergone the inspection, and received the approbation, of some very distinguished names. BACK

[8] Horace's precept must for ever stand forth as irrefragably just:

---------------------"AdsitRegula! peccatis quae poenas irroget aequas:
Ne Scutica dignum horribili sectere flagello."
Sat. 3. Lib. I.
BACK

[9] "He had sometimes expressed his thoughts about our Penal Laws, that they were too sanguinary;--that they were against not only the laws of God, but of Nature;--that his own case was hard, that he should die for an Act, which he always declared to be wrong, but by which he never intended to injure any one individual; and that, as the Public had forgiven him, he thought he might have been pardoned. But now (the day before his execution) he laid all these thoughts touching himself aside; though he continued to think in the same manner of the Penal Laws to his end." See Ordinary's Account, p. 14. BACK

[10] See Mr. Eden's admirable book on Penal Laws. BACK

[11] Referring to the Independence of the Judges, settled by the King, as almost one of the first Acts of his Reign. BACK

[12] See my Sermon on the Injustice, &c. of Capital Punishments. BACK

[13] See my "Elegy on the Death of Frederick Prince of Wales." Poems, p. 63. BACK

[14] See Plutarch "On the Benefits deducible from Enemies." Morals, Vol. I. BACK

[15]

"I speechless sate;--nor plaintive word,
"Nor murmur, from my Lips was heard."
Merrick's Psalms, p. 39.
BACK

[16] 2 Sam. xv. 25, 26. BACK

[17] Faith. BACK

[18] Madame de la Valiere. This fine Picture is in the Chapel of the Carmelite Nuns at Paris. BACK

[19] Humility BACK

Thoughts in Prison
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